What did we do last night that was yellow?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
