I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize