After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My vagina is officially offended.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
