I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I deserve this hangover.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
