dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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