Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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