Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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