The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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