I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
