this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
