ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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