we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
