I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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