yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
