I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
