her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
