The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
