seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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