Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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