i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
