There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
