that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
