yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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