Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
