Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
