Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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