dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
