i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
