Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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