Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
