google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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