i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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