It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
