Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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