Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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