Nicole vs. Life
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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