Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
