I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
