i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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