me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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