haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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