I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
