shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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