Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
