guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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