I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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