whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
