we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
wow bdsm is so cute
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
