i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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