thus making me awesome and them whores
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
