so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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