Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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