you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
