i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
