I'm really into asian looking animals
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
vagina is talking i cant
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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