Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
