I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
