peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
