I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
