How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
